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Funny Things to Hold Your Tongue and Say

Written By Saturday, 25 June 2022 Add Comment Edit

If you need the best list of funny things to say, you've come to the right place.

I've written many viral posts about the right things to say and the best funny questions to ask a guy. So, if you want to know how to start a conversation with a guy, this list of the funniest things to ask would be the best place to start.

Let's get started!

Contents

Ultimate List of Funny Things To Say To Lighten Up Anyone's Mood

Ladies, it doesn't take much to impress the guy you like.

More often than not, he's going to want the attention you're giving him. But, if you're having a hard time getting through to him, maybe it's time to try a new strategy.

This list of funny things to say will open up new techniques for you to start talking to the guy you want to fall for you. Guys love it when a girl has a great sense of humor, so this list can help you show him you're down to earth and easy to get along with. If you use a variety of funny jokes or quotes, he'll think you are creative and imaginative, which will make him think you're really interested in him. That way, he'll be falling for you before you even know it.

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3 Best Funny Things To Tell A Guy You Like

If the guy you like isn't responding to your usual tricks, you should be thinking about creative ways to get his attention. These funny quotes can bring laughs to your conversations, which will eventually make his heart fall into your hands. If you want to make a guy laugh, these are the best things you can say to him.

Here are 3 of the best funny things to tell a guy you like:

1. If you lend someone money and you never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

It's not like they broke the law or anything, but when someone doesn't return the money they owe, it says a lot about their integrity as a person. If you want to have a good laugh with him, say this line, and he'll probably tell you about a time that he experienced this for real.

2. I had used up all of my sick leave, so I called in dead.

Have you ever needed to call in sick, but you just ran out of sick days? I bet he's also gone through this before. You can get a lot of funny conversations out of this funny saying. Plus, you're going to learn a lot about his work ethic and how much he values his career.

You might even know what excuses he makes to get out of work. In the future, if you hear anything familiar, you'll know he's just making excuses.

3. Try ordering a pizza 15 minutes before New Year, and when it arrives, yell, "You're late! I ordered this a year ago!"

These new years jokes are getting a little old, so here's a new variation you might like to try out. He'll probably follow this up with a few stories about his experiences during the holidays. You're going to learn what he likes to do over the holidays and what crazy stories he had about the celebrations he had with family and friends.

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3 Random Funny Things To Catch His Attention

There are tons of random things to say that you can tell a guy, but there are only a few that will catch his attention. Sometimes, the most random things will catch him completely off-guard, and they might make him laugh like there's no tomorrow. Stay away from sarcasm and crass language because these random and weird things will be more than enough to get him to listen to you.

Here are 3 random funny things to catch his attention:

4. Dancing on the table may be my favorite pastime.

If he's a little on the wild side, this may be random enough to get him to think about you. He'll imagine you getting a little tipsy and just itching to get on the table to show your sexy and sultry dance moves. If you want to get him more hot and bothered, talk about a time you actually danced on the table and see how he reacts.

If he's smiling throughout your story, you now have a way to attract him the next time you go out together.

5. You're welcome to take my advice any time. I don't use it, anyway.

Listen, we've all been there. At one point, we've all given our friends useful advice and motivational sayings to try and get them out of their funk. But, when the tables are turned, it turns out that it's not easy to follow the advice you've been giving.

When you say this to him, you can talk about moments when you've experienced being the one who needed to follow the advice but can't. He'll laugh at first, but then he will eventually share his experiences and will most likely enjoy a vulnerable conversation with you.

6. Whiteboards really are remarkable.

If you said this to a random person, they'd probably think you're crazy. But, if you said this to a guy who's a teacher or a scientist, I bet they'd agree. Someone who uses whiteboards all the time would definitely love hearing someone else appreciate their usefulness.

Plus, it's a better choice than chalkboards, wouldn't you agree?

3 Cute And Funny Lines To Make Him Laugh

Guys love it when a girl makes an effort to make him laugh. A funny quip here and there will show him that you are open to laughing and letting loose with him. These cute things to say will make him smile like an idiot, which means more chances of making him fall for you.

If you're looking for the cute phrase that makes him giggle like a schoolgirl, you may just find it here.

Here are 3 cute and funny lines to make him laugh:

7. If beauty were time, you'd be an eternity.

Guys deserve to be called beautiful, too, so maybe you can say this line when he needs a little cheering up after a long day. If he's been through rush hour traffic, endless meetings at work, plus he had to make an emergency stop at a tires shop because he got a flat, being called beautiful might not be the worst thing for him.

8. Refusing to go to the gym is one of the best forms of resistance training.

It's not a question of whether or not you want to go to the gym. It's a question of whether or not you'll go even if you don't want to. And the answer is often no, especially if there's chocolate ice cream in the freezer. After saying this, you can ask him if he likes working out.

You'll then have a feel of how fit he is and how much he pays attention to his health. This is a cute joke and all, but make sure that you actually talk about something that matters afterward.

9. The rotation of Earth really makes my day.

What a line, right? It's a funny quote that plays on a simple fact: the world is rotating every day. Now, how do you make this funny? I think that most of the time, people laugh more at the person telling the joke than the joke itself.

If you're caught in a big laugh that you can't stop, casually say this line, and I guarantee you he'll be laughing at you and with you.

3 Funny And Nice Things To Express Your Feelings

Sometimes, it's difficult to say what you want to say, especially when they are about your feelings. So, it's a good thing that we've got a lot of funny and nice things to say that can help you express your feelings towards the guy you like. You can use any of these lines to admit your emotions in a funny way.

It takes off the pressure and awkwardness one might feel when real feelings are involved.

Here are 3 funny and nice things to express your feelings:

10. Puppies and kittens should fear your cuteness!

If you want to tell a guy that you find him cute indirectly, this is a great way to do it. Everyone, excluding weirdos, thinks that puppies and kittens are the epitome of cuteness. Now, if you want to make him smile, you can casually say this when you meet up for coffee, and you find him extra attractive that day.

11. You are cooler than a secret handshake.

Have you ever had a secret handshake with any of your childhood friends? If you have, you know how cool it must have felt when you do the handshake together. Once you say this, he'll see that you consider him special. Plus, this can also prompt you to make a secret handshake for you two.

You'll have something that only the two of you know about. It also gives you an excuse to hold his hand, which is always a nice thing.

12. The chance of meeting another person like you is the only reason I talk to strangers.

Talking to strangers when you're a kid will most likely bring you bad luck and danger. But, when you're an adult, it's one of the ways you can meet new people. If you're meeting a guy for the first time and you think he's your type, this is the perfect line to say.

3 Funny Things You Can Say To Show Your Romantic Side

Being romantic and affectionate doesn't always have to be about flowers and chocolates. There are many ways to show your emotions, and sometimes it can be simple as saying funny things that will make your partner smile. If the guy you like needs an ego boost, these romantic things to say are perfect for getting their spirits up and making them feel better.

Plus, it would give them an idea of your feelings for them. This helps you if you can't directly tell someone you like them.

Here are 3 funny things you can say to show your romantic side:

13. I wanted to keep cute things. Can I keep you?

Wouldn't you be as happy as a kid going on summer vacation if you received this text message? It's going to make him feel all the feels when he hears this from you. When he's having a bad day, this line can lift his mood and make him relax.

When you know someone appreciates you, it makes you feel like you're not alone. That's how he's going to feel. Unconsciously, you're building a bond with him, one funny response at a time.

14. I tried rearranging the alphabet, but for some reason, the letters U and I would never separate.

Do you want to poke his funny bone? This manipulation of the English language may be just what you need. If he's into wordplay, he'll definitely smile when he hears this. If you ever find yourself playing Scrabble, this line would be perfect to say if it's getting a little intense and competitive.

15. It sucks that you don't see what I see in you. Because if you did, you'd just stare and keep smiling.

Who wouldn't grin at this sweet line? I bet he'll start falling in love with you the minute he hears this from your mouth. Staring and smiling at someone is the perfect combination of actions to show that you like them. It's like having cookies and chocolate milk. You can't get any better than that.

3 Laugh-worthy Punchlines That Will Brighten Up His Day

If you want to make a guy feel good about himself, it's important to get creative with the lines you want to say. These pick-up lines to use on guys are uniquely funny and definitely out-of-the-box. There are many funny pick up lines for guys out there, but if you want to know which ones you should use that would really make him feel great, you should try the ones we have right here.

Here are 3 laugh-worthy punchlines that will brighten up his day:

16. "In a room full of art, I'd still stare at you."

Isn't this one of the sweetest things you've ever read? Now, picture this. You're on a date inside a museum. And he's over there looking at some paintings, minding his own business. Then, amid all the funny texts you've sent him, he's going to see this sweet and funny text.

You're going to see him smiling while searching the room for you. Now, if that doesn't make him fall in love with you, I don't know what will.

17. "So, aside from taking my breath away, what do you do for a living?"

You don't need to be a comedian like Ricky Gervais or Groucho Marx to say a funny and romantic line like this. It's a simple joke that can be told by anyone, especially if you're already laughing. It's easy to make someone laugh when you, yourself, can't contain your laughter about it.

So when you say this, don't be too stiff or serious. Keep it light and casually laugh about it with him.

18. "He stole my heart, so I am planning to take revenge. I am getting his last name."

Marriage - the thing that most women want and the thing that most men avoid. But, it's not just some random word can throw around like it's no one's business. It's a serious and lifelong commitment - one that asks you all the most confusing questions that you'll spend your entire life finding the answers to.

So, although this line is light and funny, it can help you give him a hint of how serious you want to be with him.

3 Funny Pick-Up Lines From Movies Best For Flirting With Guys

You can get a lot of good game from movies, especially those romantic comedies that we all love. They've got all the best flirty questions and lines that can make anyone giddy. So, if you need some of the most effective flirty conversation starters, these movie lines may just be your ticket to starting a great talk with the guy you like.

Here are 3 funny pick-up lines from movies best for flirting with guys:

19. "You give me premature ventricular contractions. You make my heart skip a beat." Natalie Portman, No Strings Attached (2011)

This movie had all the makings of a great relationship, only they weren't in one. If you want to win over the guy of your dreams, try out this line with him. He'd be confused in the beginning, but once you nail that punchline, a great big smile is going to be forming on his face.

20. "You're not too smart—I like that in a man." Kathleen Turner, Body Heat (1981)

Men are taken aback when they hear women speak directly. So, if you say this, he will be completely surprised. He might even be a little offended, but it all depends on your delivery. Follow it up with a cheeky grin and a little giggle; then he'll know you're just kidding.

21. "Is that cannon fire, or is it my heart pounding?" Ilsa Lund, Casablanca (1942)

Have you ever felt like your heart is about to explode with all the emotions you're feeling? This may be the perfect line to say if you want to express that feeling. He might laugh or make fun of your great poetry, but deep inside, he's going to appreciate that you have the confidence to tell him how you feel. He'll fall in love with you soon after, I guarantee it.

Downloadable and Printable List of Funny Things To Say

Here is a downloadable and printable jpg/pdf list of funny things to say (right-click the image and select Save Image As…):

Downloadable and printable list of things to say

Frequently Asked Questions

Do you still have some reservations about asking funny questions? These frequently asked questions may address some of your concerns.

Can I use these funny things to say as conversation starters?

Yes, you can. These funny things to say can serve as great conversation starters because they can easily break the ice and put the guy you're talking to at ease. They can also be used to continue a conversation, especially when it seems like you've exhausted all the angles of a certain topic.

How can I choose the perfect funny thing to say?

The options from this list provide certain scenarios that you can choose from. If you want to be a little romantic, then select from the ones on the romantic list. If you want to give him a little ego boost, then choose from the ones that can brighten his day.

Are guys comfortable hearing funny things?

Most of the time, guys love it when women have a great sense of humor. Guys will enjoy your company when you can let loose and crack a few jokes here and there. He will feel more at ease with you when you can laugh aloud with him.

Can you randomly tell a guy funny things the first time you meet?

Yes. As I said, guys enjoy it when the girl they're talking to can let go of her inhibitions and joke around. So, if the tension is a little too high, it's a good idea to randomly drop some funny quotes or lines because it will make the other person feel comfortable around you.

How To Pick The Best Funny Things To Say

If you need a guide on how to pick the best funny things to say, sit on down and take some notes.

1. Pick the right moment.

Not everyone is down to listen to a funny line or quote all the time. So, it's a good idea to get a feel of when you should say something funny. If you say something at the wrong time, not only will you have wasted the joke, you will have also made an even more awkward moment with the person you want to connect with.

When you're feeling like an awkward silence is coming up, that's when you say the funny thing you want to say.

2. Establish common ground.

Some of these funny things to say are specific and can't apply to everyone. So, when you find out a little bit about the other person, you'll know which funny things you can say and which ones they won't relate to. When you tell them things that you know they're going to like, you're establishing a connection that would most likely turn into something more.

3. Master your lines!

Nothing kills a joke better than a mistake you make while saying it. If you're planning to say one of the options on this list, it would be good to practice it in front of the mirror first. You can even take a video of yourself if you want to see how to make it even funnier.

Don't waste the opportunity to get someone's attention by just messing up on your funny entry. Practice, practice, practice!

More Great Ways to Talk to Guys

If you still need some more help getting your confidence up enough to approach people and talk to them, don't worry. We've got a lot more great ways to help you talk to guys.

  1. Girls who can crack a joke and have a great sense of humor are like kryptonite to guys. It would do you a lot of good if you have some funny questions to ask a guy in your back pocket.
  2. Meeting someone for the first is always a nerve-wracking experience. If you want to avoid awkward moments, you should have a handy list of fun questions to get to know someone.
  3. Sometimes, there are moments when you need something to talk about and you just can't think of anything to say. That's why you should remember these funny conversation starters so you won't ever have a dull moment again.

In Conclusion

Now, you're all set with all the best funny things to say to the guy you like.

You don't need to worry about how to start a conversation with a guy, because you can use any of the random and hilarious things to say on this list to begin talking to guys. Building your confidence to approach people can be done when you take it one step at a time. So, start with some of these funny questions and lines with your friends and see how they respond to the stuff you're saying.

You can even ask for their advice on how you can change it up and which things to say they think are the best ones for you. You'll soon be saying funny thing after funny thing to anyone you want to talk to because you've got that confidence you need. Good luck!

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Source: https://www.galtelligence.com/funny-things-to-say/

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